Not long after I arrived back in Hong Kong, a friend of mine, normally a mild manner airline pilot, was being extremely vocal about his recent taxi ride, complaining that he had to use all his inner powers (no doubt well trained from many LKF visits!) not to throw up in the backseat. I couldn’t really understand what all the fuss was about – surely this city full of thousands of taxis, all available at any time of the day/night with a single thrust of your hand, is the ultimate efficient transport system, and nothing can be wrong?!
Technically that statement is correct.. Efficient, yes. Available, well, sort of, except around 5pm each time during shift change (you would think some clever taxi driver would have worked out that if you DON’T change shift at 5pm, you can have the pick of customers all around HK that time each day!!) But what you can only experience once you have been inside the backseat of a Hong Kong taxi, is the wild ride that could be a cross between a rollercoaster ride at the Disneyland theme park and a washing machine in full spin cycle.
Why do taxi drivers in Hong Kong have to accelerate and then brake suddenly every 10 metres they travel?! Do they take some sadistic joy in jerking the car (and passengers) for a whole journey to the point of you feeling sick, simply to drop you off, and pick up the next victim?! I sometimes feel that in Hong Kong traffic, I move as far forward as I am being thrown sideways in the taxi! Is there a special taxi driving school one has to go to in order to perfect this skill?
Considering the drivers are so frugal about their fuel usage (they put the car in neutral to cruise down a hill, presumably to save fuel), yet they would slam on the accelerator to burn off from the lights, then slam on the brakes because you can’t actually go anywhere with the traffic except move forward about a metre, which surely is going to waste more fuel? Many a time I am trying to go through my emails and messages whilst enroute on such a ride, but end up having to give up because a) I cannot read the message on my phone as I am being flung around the backseat, and b) everytime I tried to type a message the kangaroo-hopping motion of the taxi invariably means I am typing some incoherent message to my contacts…
In addition to this unique HK driving style, the driver is typically also trying to set a speed record between locations, based on the frenetic pace the driver wants to get to your destination. In doing so, he is going through most yellow (and red) lights, discovering the most minute of gaps in traffic to change lanes randomly or to gain 1 car space, daring the Porsche to not let him in and all these whilst talking to 5 mobile phones at the same time! I am only guessing there has to be some “Today’s Top 10 fastest trips” challenge that most taxi drivers are in and probably a nice bounty is there to be won if you make the list!
Speaking of mobile phones, I have to say I was fascinated the first time I was in a taxi when the driver was placing jobs for half dozen other fellow drivers over the multiple mobile phones on his dashboard (normally minimum 5), whilst trying to do his primary role of actually driving me to my destination! Talking about an entrepreneur society we live in – this guy is running a business within a business!
I have to say I have come across a couple of very good drivers. Smooth acceleration, not cutting in and out of lanes, pleasant conversation (that’s for another time to discuss) and actually getting me to the destination in the same amount of time as the typical reject F1 driver. Next time I must take down their contact number and share with you!
You are probably saying – why don’t you catch a bus instead if you dislike the taxi ride so much – well try getting down the stairs of a double decker bus whilst it is speeding round the corner towards the bus stop… but that’s another story…
* About the title – “Lido M’Goi”, for the un-initiated, is a cantonese phrase for “here, please”, words you utter with joy and relief knowing that your taxi journey has reached its destination, and you have survived!
Living in Hong Kong 
Good stuff, you should do one on the angry drivers as well, I always try to engage the drivers to make the trip more plesant and to lighten the air a bit. I have been in some taxis where the drivers just don’t want to be bothered… which begs the question why pick up a passenger in that case. Bus drivers are just taxis drivers with a bigger steering wheel, I have seen people fall down due to the erratic heavy footed bus driver that love to charge the red light to block out the mini bus trying to cut him off and beat him to the curb. Anyway keep it up.. this is my stop Lido M’goi…